right now this blog is on fully private settings... i think! i've only invited my sister laura to read it because she's one of the very few people who know my husband and i are trying to get pregnant.
after watching suzanne's diary for nicholas this morning, i decided i want to document my potential journey to motherhood. right now it's in the "potential" stages because we're not pregnant yet!
so today marks 78 days since i've been off of birth control. aka 2 months and 16 days. that means that we are on our third month of trying to conceive. right now we are focusing on having fun with getting pregnant although i'd be lying if i didn't admit the excel-obsessive soul within me wasn't getting her way too! i've been charting through an app on my phone as well as a google doc. i won't go into the nitty gritty details of temperature taking, peeing on sticks, seducing my hubs at opportune times and reading books about how to get pregnant. but i'm doing it with hopes that planning will give us the best possible chance of getting pregnant!
so how did this little journey start? well. i always thought i'd have kids. but when i was 18, i had an abortion. my husband and i had only been together 6 months when we found out i was pregnant and i terminated the pregnancy because i was in college and not yet ready to be a mom. since that event, i realized that i had priorities in life and a kid simply wasn't on that list. i wanted a big beautiful house, a great (paying) job, my dream wedding, tons of vacations, and all the other things gals in their 20's pine for. hubby and i saw so many relationships seemingly ruined by pregnancy. obviously we were outsiders giving our perspective, but it just seemed like so many people were going through financial hardships and bickering all the time, it wasn't what we wanted to sign up for.
and then one fateful night in july, we were laying in bed and my husband tapped my arm.
hubby: jill? are you awake?
me: yeah, sure, what's up, love?
hubby: i want a baby.
hubby: i want a kid.
and that's how it began. at first i was a little baffled and thought that surely it was a phase. but the more we talked about it, the more i opened up to the idea of having a little bambino. hubby insisted that he wanted a baby right away and i insisted that we wait to start trying to conceive until summer 2011. i wanted to have my professional engineering license before having a child. i thought my bosses wouldn't be supportive of me having a kid so early in my career. when i told my husband that, he said "it feels like your firm is deciding when we'll have a family." so really, how fair is that!? it's not. we're both emotionally ready for a baby. we're both financially(-ish) ready for a baby. (because really, who's ever totally prepared?) so why the heck not have a baby!?
and that's where we're at right now. ready to have a baby. ready to get pregnant. and this little blog will hopefully document our journey to hopefully getting pregnant and following the pregnancy itself. wish us luck!