it's amazing the way your mind and priorities change once you're pregnant. i used to get so bent out of shape over the smallest things, and lately even the big things can't keep me down. my husband was blogging a few weeks ago about how he couldn't be happier with leila on the way and that he's enjoying little things more than he used to. the little things aren't bothering him as much either. that post meant the world to me. i know we're extremely happy right now (is there such a thing as too happy?) but it's always nice to hear your husband announce that to the rest of the world. :-)
i have had a lot of stress at work lately with late nights and weekends. but you know what, my baby makes it easy to see the positive side of everything. when i was at the office last sunday, i kept telling myself "well, these couple of hours will pay for leila's crib!" or yesterday i painted the nursery and it looked terrible. it's really blotchy and looks red-orange. my friends say the second and possibly third coats will help even it out and make it pinker. so i tell myself that each coat of paint is my dedication to making leila's life as perfect as i can, all the way down to the shade of pink on her walls. when i need some time to unwind after a long day, i find myself at babies r'us or target picking out things for leila. (jake usually tags along too hehe) most of the time i'm not even buying anything, i'm just thinking about how that white vase might look on her dresser or green lamp might look on her bookshelf.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i never imagined planning for a baby would have this kind of effect on me. leila isn't here yet and the happiness i feel when painting or picking out nursery letters for her is overwhelming. it's like putting her first soothes me. i wish others could find this same happiness in their children, it's really sad when people spend so much time and energy focusing on bitterness and hatred. any time i feel the least bit of negativity building up, all i have to do is put my hand on my belly and know there is a little girl squirming about in there, waiting patiently to meet her mommy and daddy. i can't wait to put a face on this happiness, we are so excited to meet our daughter. only 18 weeks to go!
ps: i've been meaning to link this for awhile, but my bff nichole is back in the blogging world. she got married a few weeks ago and i know her life is equally blissful right now too. so if you were a follower of hers before, you can check out her new blog http://mrsveraherrera.blogspot.com