Thursday, October 6, 2011

what i've learned

here are a few things i've learned about pregnancy in the past month.

1. any and all references to a pregnancy symptom and its associated timetable should be stricken from the internet. they are junk.

i know every person is different and every baby is different, and i definitely expected to not exactly be on target with everyone who ever posted something that made it to the google search engine. but i've gotten a smidge frustrated with how far off i really am.

it's like "oh when you lose your mucus plug it happens like 2 weeks later, tops." here i am, still pregnant, over 3 weeks later. "and when you have the 'bloody show', labor is immiment, within about 72 hours." no no, 6 days later i am still preggo.

last night i started having contractions, albeit they're hours apart. i was hoping oh so hard that this meant the real deal. but alas, all i've gotten out of it is these 1-2 minute long bouts of excruciating pain. i dare not google how long some women go through contractions like this. if i see that it's one day, i don't want to hold my breath that it'll be the same for me. if i see that it's 2 weeks, i'd prefer to be oblivious.


2. you do, in fact, just KNOW when you're having a real contraction.

there i was, on the phone with a coworker in fort worth discussing a 3d surface model he was working on for my project, when i started getting some pain in my stomach. i thought huh, that's odd. and then it wasn't going away. it got worse within seconds. i had to tell him to hold on while i clutched the phone with all my might, lost all voice capabilities, gasped for air amidst the pain, and thought very simply "holy fuck nugget". a minute and a half later i returned to the phone and said "um, i think i just had a contraction.

it was unlike any of the braxton-hicks contractions i've had before. it was like a menstrual cramp was radiating up my stomach and around to my back. i used to get annoyed when people said "when you're in labor, you'll just know." and although i'm not in active labor so to speak, i've learned that you do, in fact, just KNOW when you've had a real contraction. because that shit hurts.

3. ultrasound measurements can be off by a pound.

at my appointment on monday the doctor said that leila was measuring around 8lbs 2oz. she said there's room for error and perhaps leila was on the smaller side of that. i have since come to discover that those measurements can be off by a pound. one friend was induced because they suspected her baby was over 8lbs and she arrived at 6lbs 10oz. i'm not-so-secretly hoping that leila follows in avery's footsteps. big babies are intimidating!

4. pregnant women should enforce a sobriety rule for the last 2 weeks of pregnancy.

obviously i don't mean a sobriety rule for ourselves. i mean that mothers (ahem, no names) should be cautious about pain meds that may debilitate driving. and that husbands (again, no names) should not drink a 6-pack whilst playing video games.

ok, i'm kidding. my mom's back was hurting and jake had a really bad day at work, i would've done the same thing. except i'd opt for a bottle of wine or margarita drunk fest at baby a's. anyways, we've had one close call and now contractions that'll probably lead to a close call, and ya gotta make sure everyone is on their a-game.

unless of course you want to tell you child that their grandma was high and their father was puking when they were born. which you don't. (for the record, my mom wasn't actually high and jake wasn't actually puking drunk. i'm exaggerating for the purpose of encouraging this rule lol)

that's all i've got for now... i'm sure i'll post more lessons learned post-delivery! my due date is 10 days away and if she doesn't come this weekend i'm pulling for an october 14th induction date. with any luck, we'll have our baby girl this time next week!


  1. You are too funny!

  2. Ha! Having a high grandma would make for part of a really interesting birth story!!

  3. Good luck!! I had my baby girl Rachel Sunday at 4:30am. I started having contractions Friday night at 10:30 every 30 minutes. Around 2:30 in the morning, they were closer together. My husband and I arrived at the hospital around 5:30 am. Labored all day and was in transition for almost 3 hours before my midwife told me I needed to get an epidural or have a c-section. I chose the epidural, which let me rest and then I delivered Rachel at 4:30am. The experience was like nothing I have ever been through. You don't know how much strength you have until you're going through it. It's so worth everything when you see your little baby. I wish you a lot of luck with your labor. You're going to do great! Take Care! :)